0 Which Superhero Would YOU Be? by Tamsyn Murray

I don't know about you but I've never really thought of myself as a superhero. I'm more of 'quietly gets on with things' kind of operator rather than the type who single-handedly fights her nemesis and saves the world while looking awesome in skimpy tight clothes and snogging the love interest. And then I organised an inspirational LOVE Writing day at a fancy hotel in Hertfordshire and invited Miranda Dickinson and Julie Cohen along as guest speakers, and they taught me that there's a superhero inside me, inside all of us, struggling to get out.

The idea is simple and comes from this TED talk by Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy, who suggests that 'power posing' for a short amount of time before an important or stressful event can give us the right body language and self-assurance to do better. It can confer self-confidence and an aura of awesomeness. Miranda suggested we find a pose that worked for us - our Superhero Pose - so that we could invoke the power it gives in our everyday lives. And to help us on our way, Miranda made us practise our pose in front of each other.

As you can see, we looked pretty amazing. And the best part was that it actually worked - after thirty seconds of holding the pose of a strong, confident person, I actually felt stronger. So the next time I have something terrifying to say or do, I'm going remember how it felt to channel my inner Supergirl and tell myself I can conquer the fear to stand tall. Or was it Wonder woman? Or maybe just Superwoman? Whatever helps me to stand tall.

Who would you choose to copy in your Superhero pose and why? And don't forget to strike the pose as often as you need to. It's your key to feeling better about yourself and the thing you're about to do. Now...which superhero shall I be today..?

Detail: Which Superhero Would YOU Be? by Tamsyn Murray

0 Authors Who Launch - Tamsyn Murray

You know how it is when you’re months away from publication – a launch party seems like a must-have accessory for your forthcoming book. Good friends and acquaintances, glasses pleasingly filled with Prosecco, gathered around welcoming your book to the world. Depending on the kind of author you are, there could be laughter or there could be a lot of intense discussion around the existential themes of your work. I suppose there could be both. Your editor talks at length about your brilliance without so much as a hint of irony or gritted teeth. In an ideal world, a semi-clothed Ryan Gosling would burst from a cake and serenade you (but that might just be me). And everyone will buy a book, which you’ll sign with a carefree flourish and not a trace of cramp.

Time passes and suddenly it’s the week before your book comes out. You’re in a tailspin trying to get everything done and belatedly, it occurs to you that you need to book a party venue and possibly order some drinks. An avalanche of anxiety tumbles down from Mount Paranoia – how much wine do you need? Is twelve bottles enough? What if no-one comes? And does it matter if they do? What do launch parties actually do? WHY ARE YOU EVEN BOTHERING?

Tomorrow is the day of my launch party for Completely Cassidy: Accidental Genius. It’s a book that has taken a long time to arrive, for one reason or another, so I wanted to celebrate the fact that it had made it into being – an actual book that I can hold in my hands and stroke. Hence the party. To be honest, I don’t think there was any chance that I wouldn’t have a party. I don’t expect it to sell oodles of books (although a few would be nice). I don’t expect it to make the society pages (or any pages, really, unless someone kindly blogs about it). What I do expect is to laugh and catch up with people I don’t see very often and wear an Elvis wig while drinking a sherbert cocktail. I want to take a few hours to contemplate the fact that my publisher and my agent and I did a good thing – we made a book that readers will enjoy.

There are arguments for and against launch parties but I think if you decide to have one, then do it for the right reasons – to celebrate getting your book out there. Then if anything else comes out of it, it'll be the icing on the Ryan Gosling cake.

NB To anyone coming to my launch party, I have booked a venue and there will be drink. Honestly.

Detail: Authors Who Launch - Tamsyn Murray

0 Introverts R Us - Tamsyn Murray

My name is Tamsyn and I am an introvert.

It took me a long time to realise this, mostly because I am also (for want of a better phrase) a bit of a show-off. I used to put my hand up when I knew the answer at school. I do am-dram, which involves singing and dancing and acting, sometimes in lead roles, in front of hundreds of people. Since I became a writer, the performer in me has been even busier, because what are school visits if not extended performances? I can do interviews for TV, and smile and chat to people I've only just met in social situations, make small talk without any apparent paroxysms of terror. How can I do all of that and not be an extrovert?

It took one of those lists you see popping up on Facebook every now and then to teach me the truth about my nature. Things You Should Know About Introverts*, it said. And I thought that as a writer, I knew plenty of introverted people so maybe it was worth a read.

Point 1 made me pause: We need to recharge alone. I do, I thought. In fact, there's nothing I cherish more than a bit of alone time (although alone time = working time for me because alone time is a rare commodity) and I constantly feel I don't have enough of it. And certainly after an event of some kind, what I yearn for most is to be on my own. Hmmm.

Point 2: We don’t hate being around people, but we probably hate crowds. I thought about this for a while because I wouldn't say I hate crowds but I don't love them either. Unless it's a festival crowd, in which case I love them all. But I do quite often feel overwhelmed by crowds - the urge to go and find a quiet place to sit is strong (or sometimes even to go home) and I get around this by starting random conversations with people. This is a trick I have learned and I almost always enjoy the conversation.

Number 3: We don’t mind silence.This one depends on the silence. I had a boss once who used to come and sit in my office and say nothing. Those were not good silences and I would say anything to fill them (which resulted in more silences because I had said something stupid.) But there's nothing wrong with a companionable silence.

And point 4: Just because we are introverted doesn’t mean we are shy. Very few people would describe me as shy. But by the time I read this one I was starting to realise that there was a good possibility I was an introvert.

Number 5: We can turn on an extroverted personality when necessary, but it is especially draining. This was a clincher for me - I know I do this. When I'm in a crowd and I want to talk to people because I feel uncomfortable (point 2) I switch on. Or for a performance. Actually, being extroverted is a lot like acting, except that I'm just being a much brighter version of myself instead of playing another character. And afterwards I am invariably exhausted.

Point 6 was: We aren’t judging you. And again, this depends on the situation. If you are supporting UKIP then I am judging you pretty hard.


7 made me cringe in shame because I know I do this: We secretly love it when you cancel plans. It doesn't mean I don't like you, it just means I don't have to be switched on.

Number 8: We can get very wrapped up in our own thoughts. AKA Daydreaming. Thinking time. Plotting. So I'm not ignoring you, honestly. I might just have forgotten you are there.

At number 9 we had: We can be pretty bad at connecting. And I wondered about this because I think I am good at connecting. Then I realised it's because I am good at listening - I like hearing other people's stories. And as luck would have it, listening means I have to talk less.

In at number 10 was: We don’t like to hang around. I decided this one depended on the situation. If I'm comfortable somewhere then it can be hard to get rid of me. But in a crowd situation when I've been switched on for a while, an unguarded exit can be too difficult to resist.

The last point was: We have strong opinions. And I decided this wasn't an introvert or an extrovert thing, because almost everyone I know has strong opinions about some things. Writers in particular have strong opinions - why else would we write?

So on balance, I decided that I'm an introvert. And it's nice to know finally that it's OK to want to be alone, to enjoy being on my own. Many of my writer friends are great to be around because they know how that feels, because they are introverts too. But ultimately, I'm not sure it really matters what you are, except that it feels good to know even when I'm alone, I'm not really.


*Things You Should Know About Introverts taken from http://playfullytacky.com/

Detail: Introverts R Us - Tamsyn Murray